Funny jokes, pictures, videos or misc...

Silent Fox · Joined: 22 Jan 2004 Posts: 2511 Location: Cleveland

Here you go...
http://g4tv.com/themanshow/videos/11168/Adam-Loves-His-Mom.html
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Gone But Not Forgotten.

Silent Fox · Joined: 22 Jan 2004 Posts: 2511 Location: Cleveland

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML
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Gone But Not Forgotten.

Talon · Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:17 am Post subject:

killjay: Most embarassing internet moment?
killjay: Unknowingly cyber with a dude?
lemonlimeskull: Nope.
killjay: Knowingly cyber with a dude?
lemonlimeskull: Not as such.
lemonlimeskull: Though when I was a kid, I did try to run an ASCII image of a naked chick through a text-to-speech program, set to female voice.
lemonlimeskull: When she got to "colon colon colon period colon colon colon period period" the moment was gone.
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Jonesin · Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:29 am Post subject:

LMAO
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Kamikaze Kitten · Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:40 pm Post subject:

From good old bash.org:

<Shift_Wreck> OMG guys you gotta hear this
<Shift_Wreck> So i goes to the grocery store to pick up smokes and a frozen pizza.
<Shift_Wreck> I get my things and head to the 12 items or less line.
<Shift_Wreck> i get in line just as the guy in front of me is setting his items down on the conveyor belt thing
<Shift_Wreck> his items were: get this
<Shift_Wreck> a box of condoms, a medium sized cucumber, a tub of margarine and a 12 pack of beer
<Shift_Wreck> I immediately am thinking "lol wut?"
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldn't help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldn't help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> oops
<Shift_Wreck> the guy and cashier must have heard it because they both turn to look at me
<Shift_Wreck> I'm grinning from ear to ear now and my eyes are darting from the guys face and the items he had on the belt
<Shift_Wreck> i catch the cashiers eye and i look at her and shes looking at me like 0_0 and shaking her head "no don't!"
<Shift_Wreck> this all was a few seconds but it felt like an eternity...
<Shift_Wreck> well i finally says to myself: "shift, you've gone this far, may as well say something"
<Shift_Wreck> so i say to the guy (still with this huge grin) "going to a party?"
<Shift_Wreck> The girl just loses it and starts laughing
<Shift_Wreck> the guy just scowls at me
<Shift_Wreck> looks to the girl
<Shift_Wreck> and walks away leaving his items there at the checkout
<Shift_Wreck> it was kinda awkward
<Shift_Wreck> pizzas good though

Talon · Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 9:49 am Post subject:

From Bash.org
Had everybody at my work wondering why I choked on coffee Coffee

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Talon · Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:52 am Post subject:

Daaaaaaaajumn!!!
http://www.omgsoysauce.com/10432/when-a-mexican-drug-lord-gets-busted/
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Talon · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:24 pm Post subject:

At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEO's of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of the day's converence.

Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the barman:
"In 'Stralya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a bladdy Fosters, mate."

Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next:
"In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, gimme a Bud."

Hans steps up next:
"In Germany ve invented das beer, ferdamt. Give me ein Becks, der real king of beers, danke."

Paddy, CEO of Guiness, steps forward:
"Barman, would ya give me a Guinnes. Truu beer fer truu men! Tanks."

Finally, Jan, the CEO of some Dutch brewery comes to the bar. :
"I would like a diet coke with ice and lemon please."

The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces.
Eventually they ask: "Are you not going to have a beer, Jan?"

Jan replies: "Well, if you fucking pansies aren't drinking, then neither am I!"
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Talon · Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 5:47 am Post subject:

Yes!

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Kamikaze Kitten · Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 5:23 pm Post subject:

^ Now all it needs is a funny caption..unfortunately I am not clever enough to come up with one.

Talon · Posted: Wed May 12, 2010 7:09 am Post subject:

My gf is planning on getting a tattoo of a eucalyptus tree on her side like this. But if she gets this one I'll freaking marry her!

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Whiskey · Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:49 pm Post subject:

Cardboard Warfare: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE-ZmwATS8E
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Pete